He Who Shall Not Be Named

Today we explore a trade target who isn't on the top of anyone's list.

Good morning. Sometimes, I write a newsletter that leaves me very excited over the response I anticipate getting.

This is not one of those newsletters.

He Who Shall Not Be Named

Here’s the thing about Karl-Anthony Towns:

No one likes Karl-Anthony Towns.

Not really, at least.

Among players with comparable stats and accolades, perhaps only his own teammate, Rudy Gobert, is more actively derided.

That’s because Karl-Anthony Towns is known far more for what he isn’t than what he is, and for what he didn’t do than what he did (unless what he did is committing a ridiculous foul in a big moment of a huge game. He’s certainly known for that).

Towns is takeout Chinese food. He’s a Netflix romcom. He’s a pair of pants from Costco¹. He’s a membership to Planet Fitness. He’s art from Ikea. He’s anything in life that should be better and could be better and there’s no ostensible reason why it isn’t better, except for the fact that it just isn’t, and that is that.

And every time you engage with it, you feel worse about yourself for doing so.

Inevitably, you’re left wanting more.